(Above: Check out Matt Lambert’s dark look at Berlin queer culture here.)

I didn’t know there was a starter kit for gay sex, but I’m going off a friend’s suggestion. Here’s a list of products I recommend for anyone starting their magical journey into gay sex.

All product reviews are based solely on my own experience. I’m not being bought or bribed by any company, and honestly no one cares about my opinions enough to buy me.

1. Pjur BACK DOOR Relaxing Silicone Anal Glide

19,95 € Click on the image to go straight to the Pjur website.

19,95 €
Click on the image to go straight to the Pjur website.

You need lube, girl. And lots of it.

Unlike the vagina, the ass does not produce its own lube. Taking a dick will hurt without it.

Some piggy guys steer clear of lube and enjoy the ruggedness of just using spit. When you’ve had some years of bottoming experience and can relax your ass muscles on command, spit is fine. You’ll just have to keep salivating to keep things slick.

If you want to go hard and for a long time, Pjur BACK DOOR is the best stuff imaginable. After lubing up once — a little goes a long way — you can fuck for hours. Pjur is a German company that makes great lube, and this is the best anal lube I’ve used.

The jojoba extracts relax your butt without the desensitizing effect that some anal-relaxant lubes have. I only use silicone-based lube, mainly because it doesn’t wash off in water. If you use lube to prep for sex (clean out), you’ll need to use it in the shower, and water-based lubes wash off in water.

Silicone-based lube is more slippery than water-based. Even after washing off, your privates will feel slick for a day. It stains sheets and lingers on door handles and shower knobs, so wash your lube-covered hands with soap and water before touching everything in your bedroom/bathroom or you’ll feel the residue for days after.

2. Lifestyles SKYN Large condoms

You can find these on Amazon cheaper than you can at CVS. If you can't find them, check your local sex store.

You can find these on Amazon cheaper than you can at CVS. If you can’t find them, check your local sex store.

Latex allergies suck, but SKYN saves the day.

Most non-latex condoms don’t come in extra-large size, and I generally only take big dicks. Thankfully, Lifestyles’ non-latex brand, SKYN, recently released an extra-large version made out of polyisoprene, a non-latex material that is just as effective as latex at preventing STDs.

I recommend these condoms even if you don’t have a latex allergy. SKYN condoms are known to feel as close to the uncovered thing as you can get without going bareback.

Total honesty here. I’m only writing this for the guys in the world who like to use condoms. As a pig, I personally do not use them.

If you choose to be a pig and go bare, know the risks. Get checkups and full-rang STD testings every three months or, if you’re having a lot of anonymous sex, every month. Take care of yourself and treat any STI as soon as possible. If you’re HIV-negative, get on PrEP — a once-a-day pill that is statistically more effective than diligent condom use at preventing HIV transmission. Be smart.

3. Mr. S Leather Tri-Color Racer Harness

$195.95, mr-s-leather.com Click on the image to visit the hot-as-fuck Mr. S online store.

$195.95, mr-s-leather.com
Click on the image to visit the Mr. S online store.

This is for all beginners to leather and leather culture.

It may not immediately seem like a sex product, but put it on and you’ll feel otherwise. Mr. S Leather in San Francisco makes the best leather harnesses in the world. Yes, they have a killer website, but you should make a vacation of it, and traipse down to the Mr. S Leather store in San Francisco’s South of Market district and pick one out in person. They’ll custom fit one to your size while you wait.

Mr. S released three versions of the Tri-Color Racer harnesses. Mine is the White, Yellow, and Blue version (not viewable on their website, only at the store). It’s a sporty harness, perfect for jock pups, sports gear fetish guys, and motocross dudes. It’s also my first harness.

I chose it because it’s simple. I think you should start basic and work your way up to more extravagant leather gear.

4. COLT Red & Black Anal Douche

$19.95, coltstudiostore.com

$19.95, coltstudiostore.com

COLT Studios produces excellent douches that range in price from $19 to $70.

The Red & Black Anal Douche is on the cheaper side of that list. The good thing about this douche is that you can find it in virtually every sex shop across the country.

Using a douching bulb won’t do the job as quickly and easily as a simple shower hose with an anal-suited attachment will (and COLT makes one), but it’s transportable. And when you’re at a stranger’s house, you don’t want to ask for a wrench in order to unscrew their shower head.

5. FORT TROFF Raw Dawg

There is no picture of this item that isn't NSFW, and this blog has never aimed to be something you can't open at work without worrying if someone from the next cubicle over is going to peek at your screen. Click on this darling image of Christ to visit the very NSFW Fort Troff website. The Raw Dawg XL is $59.90, forttroff.com

There are no good pictures of this item, and I try to not be purely pornographic (although sometimes this is unavoidable). Click on the above image to see the NSFW photo of the NSFW item at the very NSFW Fort Troff website.
The Raw Dawg XL is $59.90, forttroff.com

Once you get into the swing of things, you should try something more intense.

There’s no way to describe this item, so I’ll simply direct you to the Fort Troff site, where their hot porn videos depicting their toys being put to use are all you need. I will simply say that it’s a butt plug, cock sheath, cock extender, and jack-off tool all in one.

If they’ve discontinued all versions of the Raw Dawg by the time you read this, don’t fret. I recommend everything from Fort Troff. The site has an endless and constantly-updating list of the highest quality sex toys on the market, and their advertising is brilliant. They shoot hot porn that incorporates their products.

As you will see, Fort Troff focuses on fetish, pig sex, and sporty circuit play. You can find toys on this site that you can’t find anywhere else, so it’s worth the extra money you’ll spend here versus your local novelty store.

[Author Update: Two years after writing this post, I took a job as the Fort Troff social media manager and copywriter. I was not being paid by Fort Troff at the time this post was written.]

6. Duct Tape

duct tape

When it comes to kink, you don’t have to spend lots of money for top-of-the-line rope or professional nipple clamps.

Spend money on dildos and plugs, if you’re into those, but remember that a rough top and some skilled fingers (with the nails trimmed, of course) will beat anything you can buy in a box. Getting kinky isn’t about the quality of supplies you have in your toy chest (and kink supplies get very expensive), because the most expert dominators will tell you that all the nice restraints in the world won’t make someone submissive.

And all the luxury ball gags in the world will never make you feel as gagged and powerless as good, old fashioned duct tape.

Disclaimer: Duct tape hurts. It rips out hair and pretty much everything else, so if you’re very hairy, I’d go for some form of electrical tape (the “bondage tape” at your local novelty store is essentially the same thing) or vet wrap.

Vet wrap works beautifully for bondage but doesn’t breathe well, so don’t use too many layers or wrap too tightly. I’ve had nearly my whole head wrapped in vet wrap before. It was fine at first, but it quickly became too hot.

If you’re interested in kink, start off with wearing a blindfold, or putting a blindfold on someone else, during your pre-sex foreplay. If that’s enjoyable, add a thin strip of duct tape over the mouth next time, and maybe some light ass-slapping. If that rocks your socks, you are kinksters, and you should start looking to other websites, like FetLIfe, for more information on how to explore your fetish play.

Well, there you have it. That’s the best I got for anyone starting off. Keep an open mind and a non-judgmental attitude. Explore your body safely and shamelessly, and remember that if God exists, you’re fucked.

— Beastly

Writer, blogger, illustrator, kinkster.

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