Above: BUTT magazine has the best pics of furry dudes.

Some guys are blessed with good rimming skills. Others must learn them. My first experience in the art of rimming came six years ago, during my first year of college. I was very drunk and so was he. We took a shower in my dorm room late at night and while we were rinsing off I told him I wanted to eat his ass.

I had never rimmed before. I knelt down and planted my face between his furry bubble butt cheeks and stuck out my tongue. “Not sure where it is,” I muffled. “Arc your back some.” He did, and I found it. My tongue rested on his hole.

I slowly started to lick and probe — and then he started moaning. My poor, horrified roommates were trying to sleep on the other side of the wall.

An hour later, a buddy pulled me aside in the dorm laundry room and said, “You know why dog breath smells bad? Go brush your teeth. And use mouthwash.”

This brings me to my first rimming tip.

1. Whoever is getting rimmed needs to clean out. It’s basic hygiene. 

Douching is generally the best way to go, although many sexperts say this is not a healthy practice, particularly not done frequently. Regardless, guys all over the world douche before they get rimmed so that their tops have a pleasant time eating ass.

Douching methods that work: Using an ear syringe, hand bulb pump, or shower hose attachment (for a deeper clean).

2. When you’re finally kneeling at the altar of his ass, vary it up. 

Aggressive rimmers will go straight for the hole and just lick continuously in the same motion over and over, gradually pushing the tongue deeper and deeper in. While this can feel good, it gets boring after a while and can actually start to wear on the hole. Saliva dries out your skin, and the hole is the last place you want to dry out, especially if rimming is foreplay for anal sex.

Divide your tongue duty between his hole and the hypersensitive area around it. Make designs and patterns (stars, zigzags, spirals, concentric rings, horizontal licks, vertical licks, quick dots, long strokes, etc.) Tickle the hole with just the tip of your tongue, then thrust your tongue in as deep as it can go.

Alternate between the wider, flat part of your tongue and the narrower, probing tip. Do quick, light licks between deep, strong, drawn-out ones.

3. Consume daily fiber. It makes getting clean much easier. 

Fiber is necessary for healthy digestion — and having a good, clean ass is entirely dependent on your digestive health. If you’re prone to stomach aches, loose, watery poop, infrequent bowel movements, or if you have a hard time getting totally clean for sex (even after an hour in the shower), you probably aren’t consuming enough daily fiber. Fiber clumps your waste together, making your stools harder and “together,” so when you go, you GO, leaving less excess in your rectum/colon (your “hole,” if you prefer).

4. It’s not all about the tongue. 

Don’t underestimate the effect of breath on skin. If you’ve ever spooned someone in bed, you know how someone’s breath can feel on your neck. It can tickle or comfort, arouse or annoy, depending on your sensitivity.

Breath is vital to a good rim-job. Making a small “o” with your lips and blowing on an asshole (as you would a birthday candle) can make him moan. This is usually a cooler breath. Alternately, as when you breathe on someone’s neck, an open-mouthed gush of warm breath will moisten the hole and add a tingling feeling of expectation – making him ready for your tongue plunge. Pause. Draw it out. Then dive.

5. Know your rimming risks. 

If you’re getting rimmed, you’re pretty safe. Sit back and enjoy. If you’re an ass eater, your risks are greater for contracting gonorrhea, hepatitis A, harmful amoebas, genital warts, herpes, syphilis (if there’s an open sore), pink eye, and other little gifts.

Even cleaned and prepped asses can still carry these gifts, and STDs are not exclusive to rimming. Most sexual contact has the potential to transmit unwanted infections. Professionals would recommend the use of dental dams, but I’ve never used one.

6. Use teeth sparingly, or not at all. 

Some really good rimmers know how to use teeth (hint: don’t suck in when your teeth are pressed on his hole). If he uses teeth and it feels good, consider this a pro move. I’ve had bad rim jobs where guys used teeth and it felt very unpleasant. Paired with the tongue, teeth can be a nice alternating feeling, a bit of hardness on a hyper-sensitive, soft, tender area. But by no means bite, nipple, suck, chew, or get aggressive with teeth. No sir.

7. If you’re scruffy, use it. 

Some guys love feeling stubble on their holes (I do!) — but some don’t. This is a personal preference. Best way to find out if he likes it? Try it and ask. Beard and stubble can tickle and create a pleasant texture on his hole, but it can also scratch and irritate it. It all depends on your guy.

8. Don’t be an endless rimmer. 

The better you rim, the longer you can do it — but there is a limit. Some bottoms can get rimmed for a long time, but keep in mind that most of us enjoy it as a method of getting the asshole wet and slick for something else. It feels amazing, but after a while, saliva will inevitably start drying things out down there and the rim job will stop feeling great. Read his body language and learn when to cut yourself off.

Bon appétit.

— Beastly


An edited and altered version of this post later appeared as a paid advertising piece on Good Hot Stuff. Check it out! 


Writer, blogger, illustrator, kinkster.

3 Comment on “How To Do That Tongue Thing

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: