A Tale Of Two Tops

Anonymous Question:

So how do you maintain and keep it clean for anal sex? I’m normally a top and my boyfriend is a top but I agreed to be more versatile in our relationship. He complained the other night that I’m never ready or clean… so how can I make it more pleasurable? How can I keep it clean? Is it safe to douche often? I just honestly don’t know how to maintain it and we certainly want to have a lot more sex often. 

 

Has your boyfriend also agreed to be more versatile? If you’ve agreed to do this, so must he. Also, I assume you two are monogamous, so finding a third guy, a bottom or versatile guy, to come over and get fucked by both of you is out of the question. That is unfortunate since non-monogamy would effectively fix this problem and there are many bottoms out there who’d love to play. But if you monogamous, you are equally entrusted to meet each other’s sexual needs. Which means he needs to bottom sometimes too.

His complaint is a little silly. No one walks around ready to get fucked. You can clean out really well and then not eat for several hours, during which time you can walk around ready to get fucked, but at some point, you will have to eat, and then you’ll have about five hours, give or take before you have to poop. That’s the best you can get.

If you don’t care about shit, you can fuck in the heat of the moment and simply clean up after. If you do care about shit, you (or he) will have to hop in the bathroom and douche before you fuck.

If you’re going to start bottoming more, you need to consume a high fiber diet or take fiber supplements (which are truly very healthy for you). I take Metamucil two to three times a day.

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Fiber (obtained either through fiber supplements or fibrous foods) collects your poop together and cleans out your colon and rectum, so when you use the bathroom, it all goes, leaving little left over to clean out later. This makes douching in the shower much easier and quicker.

Some guys swear by fiber pills. I have seen better results for myself with powder (pictured above) which you mix in a glass of water. Disclaimer: In the interest of being transparent and unbiased, I have written ads for Pure For Men, a fiber supplement marketed to gay men, which I have also used. I prefer Metamucil, but I have friends that swear by Pure For Men. I am not being paid by Metamucil or Pure For Men to write this (I will never write paid, advertorial posts on this blog).

You cannot out-fiber a bad diet, so if you’re eating lots of heavily processed junk food, you’re still going to have problems getting clean in the shower. Thankfully a bottom-friendly diet is mostly just a healthy diet. Eat lean meats and veggies. Avoid excessive sugar.

No, lots of douching is not good for you. Over-douching can destroy the good bacteria in your gut you need to process waste. You need that mucous lining of your rectum and colon to stay slick and coated. Sounds gross, but that’s the body. That said, most guys douche before sex. I do.

We accept the risks of douching to have mess-free anal sex, but you can (and should) take steps to minimize the douching process so that you’re not over-douching. Only douche before you have sex, and not every day. If you take daily fiber like the supplements listed above, you will minimize the douching regimen. When you have a high fiber diet, most of the job is done for you naturally when you poop.

Pooping is the body’s natural way of cleaning out. I douche before sex, but I don’t douche too much or too long (thanks, fiber). If I’m getting fucked by one or two (or five) guys, I use a hand-pump bulb in the shower.

If I’m going to have sex all night with a small army of men, I’ll use both a hand bulb and a shower hose attachment. I clean out with the shower hose, wait fifteen or twenty minutes, and if necessary, repeat. After that, I flush out any extra with a handheld douching bulb.

If I’m getting fisted, I only use a shower hose attachment, which gives me a deeper clean. You can find these ass-cleaning items in most sex stores.

I work for Fort Troff, which carries many good ass cleaning items, but once again, I am not being paid by Fort Troff to write this blog post. I don’t think anyone I work with reads my blog anyway. I also COLT products and have for years. Here’s the COLT douche I use most often.

colt douche

When you douche, go slow. Insert the nozzle in your ass, gently and slowly squeeze the bulb until it’s empty, then release the water out of your butt. Repeat until the water runs clear. For more on the ass cleaning process, read part one and part two of my bottoming guide in Them.

Finally: Be less afraid of shit. It’s going to happen. Even with the best diet and cleaning method, you cannot completely control the body. If your boyfriend is good, he’ll be understanding when you simply can’t perform and have to call it a night — better yet, he’ll get ready to bottom for you instead.

Beastly

2 Comments

    1. Agreed, and I hope you’re pleased with the edits. I actually rarely (never) douche before sex with my boyfriend. But this person was specifically asking about how to douche, so I felt I was answering his question thoroughly.

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