So how do you maintain and keep it clean for anal sex? I’m normally a top and my boyfriend is a top but I agreed to be more versatile in our relationship. He complained the other night that I’m never ready or clean… so how can I make it more pleasurable? How can I keep it clean? Is it safe to douche often? I just honestly don’t know how to maintain it and we certainly want to have a lot more sex often. 

– Submitted via Facebook

Has your boyfriend also agreed to be more versatile? If you’ve agreed to do this, so must he. You can’t bottom every time.

This is more of an issue if you’re monogamous, and therefore equally entrusted to meet each other’s sexual needs. If you’re nonmongamous, you can find a bottom and take turns plowing him when you play together.

His complaint is a little silly. No one walks around perpetually ready to get fucked. You can clean out your ass and then not eat for several hours, during which time you can walk around ready to get fucked, but at some point you will have to eat, and then you’ll have about five hours, give or take, before you have to poop. That’s the best you can get.

If you don’t care about shit, you can fuck in the heat of the moment and simply clean up after. If you care about shit, you (or he) will have to hop in the bathroom and douche first. Or make sex plans in advance so you can be ready when the time comes.

If you’re going to start bottoming more often, you need to consume a high fiber diet. Or take fiber supplements (which are truly very healthy for you). I take MetaMucil two/three times a day.

9d8494a8-3fc6-4645-87f8-f645d1cde658_1.f37192b23284a47f2ae49f1d80f65376

Fiber (obtained either through supplements or fibrous foods) collects your poop together and cleans out your colon/rectum, so when you use the bathroom, it all goes, leaving little left over to clean out later. This makes cleaning much easier and quicker.

Some guys swear by fiber pills. I have better results with powder (pictured above) which you mix in a glass of water. Disclaimer: In the interest of being transparent and unbiased, I have written ads for Pure For Men, a fiber supplement marketed to gay men, which I have also used. I prefer MetaMucil, but I have friends that swear by Pure For Men. I am not being paid by MetaMucil or Pure For Men to write this blog post. (I will never write paid/biased posts on my personal blog.)

You can’t out-fiber a shitty diet, so if you’re eating lots of heavily processed junk food, you’re still going to have problems getting clean. Thankfully a bottom-friendly diet is just a healthy diet. Eat lean meats and vegetables. Avoid excessive amounts of sugar.

No, sir, lots of douching isn’t good for you. Over-douching can destroy the good bacteria in your gut you need to process waste. You need that mucuous lining of your rectrum/colon to stay slick and coated. (Sounds gross, but that’s the body.) That being said, most guys douche before sex. I do.

We accept the risks of douching to have mess-free anal sex, but you can take steps to minimize the douching process so that you’re not over-douching, which is worse for you. Only douche before sex, and take fiber to minimize your douching regimen. When you have a high fiber diet, most of the job is done for you naturally by your body when you poop.

Pooping is the body’s natural way of cleaning out. I douche before sex, but I don’t douche too much or too long (thanks, fiber). If I’m getting fucked by one or two (or five, who’s counting?) guys, I use a hand-pump bulb in the shower.

If I’m going to have sex all night with a small army of men, I’ll use both a hand bulb and a shower hose attachment. I clean out with the shower hose, wait fifteen/twenty minutes, then flush out any extra with a douching bulb.

If I’m getting fisted, I only use a shower hose attachment, which gives me a deeper clean. You can find these ass-cleaning items in most sex stores.

I work for Fort Troff, which carries many good ass cleaning items, but once again, I am not being paid by Fort Troff to write this blog post (I doubt anyone I work with reads my blog anyway).

In the interest of transparency and honesty, though, I must say I also use COLT products and have for years. Here’s the COLT douche I use most often.

colt douche

HOW TO DOUCHE: Go slow. Insert the nozzle fully in your ass, gently and slowly squeeze the bulb until it’s empty, then release the water out of your butt. Repeat until the water runs clear.

If you take lots of fiber, you can reach a point where your douching ritual is so minimal that you can clean out with an ear syringe, which squirts a rather small amount of water in your butt.

Finally: be less afraid of shit. It’s going to happen.

Even with the best diet and cleaning method, you cannot control the body.

Some guys take anti-diarrhea pills like Imodium before marathon sex. This is a trick that stops everything (stops the body’s digestive processes), but this isn’t good for you. I’ve also found this trick to not be completetly reliable every time. Steer clear of attempts like this to force the body into working (or not working) the way it’s supposed to. The only sure-fire way to stay clean is to douche a few times, wait fifteen/twenty minutes, douche again until the water runs clear, then not eat for as long as you want to stay clean.

Final advice: If it’s not working and you can’t get clean after three or four squirts up your butt, call it a night. If he pressures you, rushes you, or guilts you for not performing, he’s a jerk and you should be turned off by his insensitivity and ignorance. Discard pile.

Sometimes you simply can’t perform. That’s okay. You’re worth more than your hole, and there are so many ways to have sex. There will come a day when your body and its limitations will force you to get creative. That’s when the fun starts.

– Beastly

Writer, blogger, illustrator, kinkster.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: