Get Dirty

Anonymous Question:

So, I’ve been reading your blog a lot lately, and I like how positive you are about sex and stuff. So anyway, here’s the thing, I’ve been watching and getting off to some odd porn (umm scat porn) and it sometimes makes me feel ashamed and weird and I met this guy on grindr who’s into it and wants to do it with me and i kinda want to do it, you know, like if I’m really into this thing I might enjoy it and if not well just move on, but I feel very strange for kinda liking this stuff in the first place, WWYD? What advice would you give me? Cause I dunno I sometimes feel very… weird after I jerk off to this stuff. Hope I didn’t freak you out or anything lol. (BTW if you’ve done this kinda stuff what advice would you give me?)


You can’t freak me out. One of my favorite people in the world is a shit pig, and I love him very much. What would I do? I would go to the Grindr hookup, try it out, see if it’s fun, and leave if it isn’t. How else will you know if you enjoy it?

When I first saw fisting porn, I didn’t think it was real. When I realized it wasn’t fake, I was horrified and repulsed. I quickly closed the browser window. Days or weeks later, I looked fisting up again. I was sitting in my car in a parking lot and it was raining. I pulled up Pornhub on my phone and typed in “gay fisting.”

The first video showed a guy pushing out a massive rosebud and I quickly closed the window. It was too much. I’m still squeamish about rosebudding, a part of fisting I try to overlook, something I don’t feel ready for, even though I surely am. But that doesn’t mean I’m not into fisting. You can like some or most parts of a fetish scene without liking all of it. 

At some point, I jacked off to fisting porn — a novelty jackoff, something I told myself would never be repeated. At the time, I thought I was pretty vanilla. I wasn’t like those guys. My hole would never look like that.

But I am, and it would. I took years to accept the fact that I was into fisting, and that I enjoyed it. The years before I ever actually fisted, I was still into it, meaning I got off on the idea of it and wanted to do more than watch porn. That’s where you are now. You’re definitely into scat — watching it and jacking off to it online definitely qualifies — but you may not be ready to dive in. So, take baby steps. No one starts off as a skilled fist bottom. We start with butt plugs and begin the long process of slowly stretching our holes. I don’t know what the equivalent of “step one” is in shit play, but that’s what’s next for you. Tell this person on Grindr that you’re a beginner, that it’s your first time and you’re not sure how much of it you enjoy. If they’re understanding, proceed with the meetup. If they’re not, move on. You will find more people into scat than you think, and some of them are insanely sexy.

Like scat play, fisting often disgusts people who aren’t into it. You already know this. You put the crux of your confession in parenthesis — the equivalent of whispering a dirty confession. I encourage you to stop apologizing for it and own the fact that this is what you’re watching, and this is what you think is hot.

You will get shamed for it. You will gross some people out. I’ve lost potential sex partners because I ask them what they think about the possibility of putting a hand up my butt. And that’s OK — I’m not for everyone, and neither are you. I’m for the guys who are open-minded and adventurous in bed. The stigma of scat play is heavier than the stigma on fisting so you may have to be more codified and selective about who you ask about it, but that’s the game. Shit pigs seek out other shit pigs. If you put yourself out there, you’ll find people to play with. 

What you like is tabooed, “extreme” sex — something even many kinky and adventurous guys will not be game for. You could get hung up on that, but it doesn’t change the reality that you’re watching scat porn, and it’s making you cum. 

This is easier said than done, but don’t trust what you think. Trust what you feel. That is how you have great sex. 

— Beastly


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