You’re Ready To Play Dirty

So, I’ve been reading your blog a lot lately, and I like how positive you are about sex and stuff. So anyway, here’s the thing, I’ve been watching and getting off to some odd porn (umm scat porn) and it sometimes makes me feel ashamed and weird and I met this guy on grindr who’s into it and wants to do it with me and i kinda want to do it, you know, like if I’m really into this thing I might enjoy it and if not well just move on, but I feel very strange for kinda liking this stuff in the first place, WWYD? What advice would you give me? Cause I dunno I sometimes feel very… weird after I jerk off to this stuff. Hope I didn’t freak you out or anything lol. (BTW if you’ve done this kinda stuff what advice would you give me?)


One of my favorite people in the world is a shit pig, someone I love very much. What would I do if I were you? I would go to the hookup, try it out, see if it’s fun, and leave if it isn’t. How else will you know if you’re into it?

When I first saw fisting porn, I didn’t think it was real. I was horrified and repulsed and quickly closed the browser window. Days later, I looked up fisting again. I was sitting in my car in a parking lot. It was raining. I pulled up porn on my phone and typed in “gay fisting.” It was the first time I intentionally sought fisting porn. 

The first video showed a guy pushing out a massive rosebud and I quickly closed the porn window. It was too much. I’m still squeamish about rosebudding — a part of fisting I try to overlook, something I don’t feel ready for, even though I know I am. But that doesn’t mean I’m not into fisting. You can like some parts of a fetish scene without liking all parts. You may like some scat acts and not others. 

The person I love who’s into shit, for example, enjoys fucking a full hole but doesn’t like eating or feeding. Not everyone into piss play likes drinking piss. Not everyone into bondage like shibari.

At some point, I jacked off to fisting porn. At the time, I thought I was very vanilla. I wasn’t like the guys I was watching. My hole would never look like that. 

But it would, and I wanted it to. It took years to accept the fact that I was into fisting. The years before I actually got fisted, I was still into it; I got off on the idea of fisting and wanted to do more than just watch porn.

That’s where you are now. You’re into scat — jacking off to it online definitely qualifies — but you may not be ready to dive in. That’s why we take baby steps. Tell this person on Grindr that you’re a beginner, that it’s your first time and you’re not sure how much of it you enjoy. If they’re understanding, proceed with the meetup. If they’re not, move on. You will find more people into scat.

You will get shamed for it. You will gross some people out. I’ve lost potential sex partners because I ask them what they think about the possibility of putting a hand up my butt. That’s OK — fisting isn’t for everyone, and scat isn’t either. You’ll find that the guys who are open-minded are more exciting and adventurous in bed, so your fetish will become a way to weed out the people you want to play with from the ones you don’t. Use it. 

— Beastly


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