thank you for taking the time to read my questions and thoughts below. your blog is fantastic and inspiring to read.
my questions for you are about poppers. sorry if this a topic you have discussed before but I wasn’t able to find any posts about it.
I used to be a regular user of poppers. I have never been a drug user but have loved poppers since someone first stuck them under my nose in a darkroom in new york when I was in my 20s. when I lived in berlin a typical friday or saturday night was to pick up a bottle of fresh poppers and head to any number of the cruise bars. I also used poppers often for jerking-off and sometimes to just get a buzz while I was laying around the house. I also love poppers porn and poppers training videos. I guess you could say poppers are a real turn on for me. I also should state they aren’t a crutch and I’ve had plenty of sex without poppers and can get aroused and climax easily without them, but when bottoming it is much more comfortable for me when I use poppers and I cannot be fisted without them (at least I don’t think I can).
Getting to my question…about two years ago I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and now have to take medication daily for it. Though I haven’t spoken with my doctor about this, my understanding is it is quite dangerous to use poppers while on high blood pressure medicine, somewhat akin to using Viagra with poppers. do you have any information on this? furthermore, I would be interested to know your thoughts in general on poppers?
it has been about two years since I have used poppers in that time i have of course still had plenty of sex though bottoming is less comfortable and i haven’t been fisted. i still watch poppers porn because it is a massive turn on and poppers training videos but i don’t join in anymore. do you have any suggestions on how i can replace that euphoria one gets from poppers during sex and a way to make bottoming and fisting more comfortable?
thank you so much!
Poppers pig, it sounds like you need to talk to a doctor who is aware of everything in your life, including how much you love poppers. I am not a doctor, so I cannot give medical advice, and since you have a condition that requires medication, I don’t feel comfortable suggesting anything in place of poppers.
I love poppers too. I love the sex I have on them. And I won’t rehash tired arguments like the ones you might have heard from people who claim that sober sex is the best sex or the “purest” sex, because we know that’s not true. There’s a reason so many people use poppers (and other substances) every time they fuck: Because sex on substances is fun.
Not always “better,” even, but fun, definitely. Those concerned with public health and the very worrying climate of severe drug use among queer people would do well to take a moment, before pathologizing substance use as a sign of deeper problems (as one is rather compelled to do in antiquated and cultish 12-step programs), and acknowledge the fact that substances are plainly, simply fun. That doesn’t mean they’re always healthy, or that one should do them all the time, but I think we chase illicit things in pursuit of pleasure over pain, and pleasure, even in excess, hardly makes us “sick.”
I don’t have any techniques in my back pocket that will make you enjoy sex without poppers as much as you enjoy it with them, nor do I have any backup substances that I consider safe with your condition. I have neither. All I can suggest is that you find a medical professional who you can be honest with, and not just about the substances you enjoy, but also about the sex you’re having. A doctor who knows that men are putting their hands up your hole can help you better should you have an injury than one who does not.
You should ask your doctor for full clarification on what dangers exist when combining something you love (poppers) with something you need (blood pressure medication), and if he or she immediately shames you, pathologizes you, or tells you you’re being reckless and irresponsible for even asking, find a different doctor, because that one is not committed to realistic approaches to your health. The fact is, if you love poppers, you will likely use them again in the heat of the moment, to hell with the rules. That’s why you need a doc you can be honest with.
I’ll add this: I’ve had incredible sober sex and know people who have incredible, hardcore sex without any chemical aid. Your body is capable, but it requires time, training, and effort. If you’re willing to work, you can enjoy extreme fisting without poppers. Not immediately, and maybe not even in six months, but you’ll get there if you work at it. I don’t know what your doctor will say, but if this is your only option, I salute you on your journey to explore your body in a completely new way. At the end of it, you will have a completely new appreciation of your ability and do more than you thought you were capable of, and that, my friend, will be beautiful.