About Me

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Photo by Geoff Wilson

Hello there! I’m Beastly — known professionally as Alexander Cheves (pronouns: he/him). I am a freelance writer and copywriter living in New York City. My work has appeared in many publications including Them, Into, Hornet, Out Magazine, Vice, Gayety, and Plus. I am a sex columnist for The Advocate Magazine — check out my column Sexy Beast. If you’d like to see more of my work, please visit my website.

After a bad breakup in college, my ex-boyfriend spread nasty rumors about me — that I was a raging cheater (true) riddled with infections (false). In retaliation, I owned my status as a pariah and started a tell-all blog, “The Pyscho Ex-Boyfriend.”

Classmates quickly pointed out that I wasn’t psycho — I was angry. I had opinions about relationships and, lamenting the ways I had failed my earliest attempts at love, sought alternatives. This blog was a place to vent. Many of the original, rambling posts have been edited or removed. They were unkind.

A classmate suggested replacing “psycho” with a better word. I was just beginning to explore my wild sexual side and “beastly” — a British word for nasty, vile — appeared one day during a kinky sex session. My blog became “The Beastly Ex-Boyfriend” — now shortened to “Beastly.” My boyfriend at the time started calling me “Beastly” affectionately, and my sir decided it was my dog name, my moniker in kink. The nickname stuck.

If you’re an editor or employer, please contact me via my website. I am seeking opportunities and would love to speak with you. Thank you for visiting.

Beastly

13 Comments

  1. Hi Alexander,
    I just read your article, Going Clear. I thought it was awesome! As a 53 year-old “muscle daddy” living in Los Angeles, and in a 10-year relationship that just “opened”, your description of the “addiction” rings true…painfully true. Thanks for sharing, It was really entertaining and thoughtful.
    I will be looking for your work online going forward…and for you on Scruff, eventually, hopefully! 🙂
    Rob aka MslBck

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  2. How do I turn it into something ‘positive’? I just read your article on not breaching the topic on the ‘official day’… And it made me angry. I’m enraged that I can’t just deal with my diagnosis. When I’m not angry, I’m.. self destructive. Underneath it all, though.. I really just want to turn this (‘this’ being what my life has become) into something with utility. With purpose. How can I push beyond the anger and shame and depression and actually.. move on?

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  3. Just read your article on Advocate and followed the link here to your blog – insightful reading. I think many of use can relate to that conversation of shame, well intentioned though it may be I think it sticks with us. I remember on diagnosis day having similar thoughts, that the prophecy had been fulfilled. A prophecy of not just family but of friends who were very blunt in their criticism of some of the choices I made back in the day when I was negative but craving attention as I turned 40. I think our collective experiences will all differ, some of us do not cope, some do, some are better for it as it becomes a catalyst for change, or just a chance to grow as people through educating others and confronting stigma and discrimination when it rears its ugly head. Thank you for taking the leap, and for sharing it with us all. I’m looking forward to sitting down and reading through what I’m sure will be enlightening and entertaining blogs.

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  4. Alex, your site is indeed NSFW, but the contents are very informative & accurate. (I have taken a lot of courses on sexualities (including kinks & fetishes) in college. You have a way to describe them in an entertaining manner. I can relate more to your writing than those memorized from textbooks!
    What do you mean “gay dating’s worst nightmare”? LOL A well-informed date is irresistible!

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  5. I just read your op-ed from over a year ago about the things you’ve learned from dating a bi guy. I was so relieved to read and relate to someone else in this way. I have never felt so alone with my fears and insecurities in dating a bi guy, and reading your op-ed was the closest thing I’ve had to a friend to talk to about this. Someone who’s actually lived it; because there is no one else like that in my world. And plus, I liked your voice (in the op-ed), so it was like a bonus that you’re a cool writer. Thanks for the work you do.

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  6. Hi Beastly / Alexander
    I have recently discovered your writing through an article on Advocate and then signed up for your newsletter on your blog. Wonderful work and I love your writing style/voice and the topics you are tackling.
    I am a 62 yr old anonymous sex and kink daddy living in Cape Town, South Africa. And have just read in your bio that you have also lived in South Africa. Wonderful news. Do you ever come here to visit.

    Keep up the good work and wonderful sex writing.

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  7. I tried sex with men infrequently and i am not afraid but i just like it i don’t really discuss or reveal it out of fear and privacy issues

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      1. I want to explain is that i had sex with a guy and i like it i mean i tried having sex with a guy who is HIV undetectable and i liked it the guy told me his status after we had sex but not before

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